Category: Random Zombie Thoughts

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HOLY VANISHING ZOMBIE, BATMAN!

Holy crickets, it’s been a long time since I sat down to write anything here! What the heck!?! You’d think I’d dropped off the face of the planet or something!

Thankfully, I haven’t dropped off of anything. Not yet anyway… Except maybe the deep end, but that’s not really anything new, now is it? ㅋㅋㅋ

Actually, I just popped in for a second because I had the sudden realization that the last time I was here, I didn’t have a lot of good news to share with anyone and honestly, I made life sound pretty freaking awful. Which, let’s be honest, at the time, it was. But things have gotten so much better since then, I felt it was only right to pop in and let you all know that I’m still here, I’m doing infinitely better than I was back in January, and that even though I’m not writing anything in this particular space, I’m actually still very active in the great and glorious world of Hallyu.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that some of you read my work very frequently. You just don’t know it’s me. Because I’m actually a ninja…

Okay, no. I’m not really a ninja, just a writer who’s picked up some freelance gigs over the past six months or so. I’ve covered a few concerts in Chicago, got to interview M.O.N.T (who are completely adorable, and super sweet, and if you haven’t checked them out yet, you totally should), I have a few more concerts I may be covering in the next month or so (so if you see me, be sure to stop and say hi), and on top of all this, I’ve been working as a content writer for a certain video streaming website all you drama lovers out there will know very well. 😉

I have to say, as awful as this year started out, 2019 is proving to be one of the best years I’ve had in a L-O-N-G time. Not only have things on the work front gone surprisingly well, but on the personal front as well. I finally reached a point (thanks to a certain string of events, a handful of amazing friends, and a couple of back-to-back concerts with a band who possesses an uncanny ability to waltz into my life at the very moment I need them most) where I decided I was done letting my health (or lack thereof) control my life. So I took it back. Believe me, it’s a lot easier to write that than it is to actually live it but nonetheless, it’s what I’ve done. Or am attempting to do, slowly and steadily, over the past eight months or so, and I’m happy to report that I’m in a much better place physically, mentally, and emotionally, than I’ve been in years. I’ve found new inspiration to be creative and crafty. (I’ve gone so far as to make myself a set of plushies and even a mini-me, which felt really weird making at the time, but I have to admit, now, I kinda love her.) I planted a garden (and watched with tears in my eyes as the squirrels and skunks ate EVERYTHING I grew 😭). I reconnected with my first love, Japanese rock (Coldrain is kinda killing me right now… Then again, so is One OK Rock… But that’s nothing new!) I’ve started going on food adventures with friends, in which we explore new and delicious restaurants around the Chicagoland area. (And oh man, have we found some delicious places to eat!) I’ve even started running again! (Which is something I honestly never thought I’d be able to do again, but here I am! 10 weeks in and still not dead. Woohoo!)

(Can we say inspiration?)

I will admit that I still have bad days, but don’t we all? I’ve just decided to take a more active role in deciding just how bad those days get. Making a conscious effort to live each day to the fullest is hard (and sometimes exhausting) but a good friend and I vowed (after that aforementioned string of events) that we wouldn’t let there be any more wasted nights in our lives and though I can’t speak for my friend, I can assure you, I’m doing my best to stick to my word. Because as I’ve been made painfully aware, you only get one life so you’d better make the most of it while you still can. So I am. And I hope you are too.

((HUGS))

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Hello From the Other Side

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I last sat down to write a blog post. It just doesn’t seem possible and yet, here we are…

When I walked away from my computer last February, I had no idea it would take me a year to come back. My plan was to take a short break while I got some health issues figured out and them come back, stronger (healthier) and better than ever. But that didn’t happen. Instead of finding answers, I now have more questions. Instead of getting better, I got worse. Much worse.

Overdramatic much?

Over the course of this past year I’ve seen 11 different doctors, been to 3 different emergency rooms, taken my first emergency ambulance ride (which is waaaay less fun than what they make it appear in dramas… Go figure!), had more tests done than I can even count and have an entire pharmacy’s worth of medications sitting on top of my refrigerator. My quality of life has dropped significantly as I attempt (rather unsuccessfully) to find ways to deal with the pain that has become a permanent fixture in my life. I often find myself explaining to others, “I’m not really living anymore, I’m just existing” and to be perfectly honest, it sucks! I’ve really struggled with this whole transition from “wonder mom” (which isn’t really me but people seem to think I am anyway) to barely function human being. Despite what some might think, it’s not easy, going from productive member of society to useless pile of whacked out nerves and endless pain. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that I still haven’t been able to find a doctor who can figure out what’s wrong with me. Most of them either look at me and go “Oh… well… that’s odd” or treat me like I’m an attention-seeking, hypochondriacal, wackadoo Hausfrau with too much time on her hands. Sometimes it’s both.

I tried to put off writing a post like this for as long as possible because I wanted to be able to come in at the end with a happy “But now I’m back and better than ever!” But I can’t. I wanted to have all my questions answered. But they’re not. I wanted to have my life back on track. But it isn’t. I wanted to be able to say, to all of you who may be suffering with your own chronic illnesses, “Hang in there! An answer is on the way! You’ve got this!” Which really, is the only thing I can say, not just to others but to myself as well. Some days I believe it, some days I don’t. But I have to keep trying because what’s the alternative?

Like so many others going through life with a chronic illness, I often find myself wondering why life decided to throw me this curve ball but I never come up with an answer. I don’t know why my nervous system has decided to go completely wacky, or why my spine feels like it’s a flaming lightning rod all. the. frickin’. time. I don’t know why I’ve had a migraine-like headache every second of every day for the past 2 years. I don’t know why some days my legs are like “NOPE! You’re not going to walk today!” I don’t know why I can’t talk someone into doing that Mortal Kombat finishing move on me and pull my head off, Sub-Zero-style, taking my spine out with it. (For some reason people seem to think that one might not actually help me feel any better… Weird.)

There are a lot of things I don’t know. But one thing I do know is, I’m not giving up. Not now. Not ever. I’m going to keep fighting. I’m going to keep searching for answers. I’m going to keep doing the absolute best I can; even if that means that some days all I do is drag myself from my bed to the couch and back again. Because, again, what’s the alternative? Giving up isn’t an option so I’m just going to keep trying.

I hope that some day soon, I’ll be able to hop back on here with the happy news that I’ve finally found answers, that I’m finally starting to feel like my old zombie self, that life is finally starting to get back to normal. Believe me, stepping away from writing for this long has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But as Yong Junhyung says in his first album intro, “nothing is forever” and I have to believe that someday “this too shall pass.” Until then, know that I’m still here. I’m still watching as many dramas as I can. I’m still squealing over K-Pop comebacks and life-ending teaser photos and heart-stopping music videos. I’m still trying to make it to as many concerts as I can. I’m still doing everything I can to keep as much of me “me” as I can. Because life doesn’t end just because you have a chronic illness, it just has to slow down every now and then. (A fact I’m still not willing to accept without much grumbling… *grumble grumble grumble*)

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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I know I’m a little late in writing this but I still wanted to take a second to wish you all the best in this new year. May your year be filled with joy, health, happiness, prosperity, K-Pop, dramas, and more biases than you could ever hope to swoon over! Thanks for squeeing with me over the past year. I love you all! ♥♥♥

 

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When You’re Sick On A Friday Night

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Okay, so really when you’re sick on a Friday night, curling up to marathon a drama sounds like a great idea until you fall asleep half-way through an episode and wake up 10 episodes later. It’s always frustrating when that happens which is why I put off watching new dramas when I’m sick. Instead of risking missing something super important I go back to dramas I know by heart so when I randomly fall asleep, I can wake up however many episodes later and pick right back up as if I’d never been asleep at all. Continue reading “When You’re Sick On A Friday Night”

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HALLYU ZOMBIE DRAMA REVIEW: We Got Married Global Edition, Season 2, Episodes 12-13

couple hair

Hallyu Tanya and I are back to give our take on We Got Married: Global Edition, Season 2, Episodes 12-13. Feel free to join us in our love of all the adorableness that is We Got Married!

 

You can catch up on all of our previous reviews of We Got Married: Global Edition (Season 2) here:

Episodes 1-2

Episodes 3-4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episodes 8-9

Episodes 10-11

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Tanya’s Say: A Letter of Reflection

Hello dear ZombieMamma readers,

I’m hijacking this website once again simply because I can… and because it needs to be done since I get to see everything that goes into all the work that ZombieMamma does (not only for this site, but also for other sites that she writes for). Also, simply for the fact that I also do all of this myself for my own site, as well as DramaFever and others, so I know that she’s going out of her mind while trying to keep as quiet as possible. Continue reading “Tanya’s Say: A Letter of Reflection”

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MUSINGS OF A K-POP FANGIRL: Beware The Bias-Wreckers!

Boyfriend 1 cropped

As a K-Pop fangirl, having a list of biases a mile long is nothing new… Well, at least for me it isn’t. Being a serious multi-fan, I’m always adding new idols to my bias list and I’m cool with that. I spend hours scouring the internet for new bands and comebacks, just looking to add another song to my ever-growing K-Pop playlist but every once in a while, as I’m bopping my way along a new (or even not so new) band will sneak up out of nowhere and… BAM! Suddenly my bias list has a six new members that I never saw coming. Continue reading “MUSINGS OF A K-POP FANGIRL: Beware The Bias-Wreckers!”

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MUSINGS OF A K-POP FANGIRL: St☆rlight, Star Bright

superheroIt’s no secret I’m a fan of pretty much every K-Pop group out there. Yes, it’s true I love some a little more than others but in general, I can’t devote myself to one single band because there are just too many deserving of my love. That being said, there are times when I find myself pulled toward one band a little more than others. This happened first, with CNBLUE, then with G-Dragon and BIG BANG, and so-on. While I honestly love each and every one of these “special” artists just as much as I did during my obsessive phase, a new band has recently found its way into that special place in my heart and that band is VIXX.

group shot for okdal

Now before you get all huffy on me, telling me that they’re nothing new let me just say that yes, I know. I’m very well aware that VIXX has been around for almost two years. I also know that they’ve made multiple comebacks, collaborated with various artists and even won several impressive awards since their debut but that doesn’t mean I can’t love them more now than I did when I first learned of them, however long ago that was.

 

Ken

The truth of the matter is, it’s only been somewhat recently that I’ve stumbled upon the countless hours of VIXX videos on YouTube and it’s only been since then that my love for them has grown from placid musical respect to full-on fangirl obsession. I can’t help it. From the very first episode of VIXX TV, I’ve been completely addicted to watching these six adorable boys entertain us with their charm, wit and goofball moments as they’ve allowed us quick glimpses into their daily lives and to be perfectly honest, I can’t get enough! Waiting for new episodes of VIXX TV has become as Nexcruciatingly painful as waiting for the next episode of Bride of the Century to air. I spend every Tuesday morning continuously checking my phone to see if the newest episode is up, just so I can be one of the first to watch it. If that weren’t bad enough, every moment of my free time has been consumed with watching episodes of VIXX’s MTV Diary and the like and I’ve seen every single one of their music videos so many times, I can replay them in my sleep.

 

Hyuk hydeIt’s at this point that most people would probably step back and admit they’ve got an addiction problem but not me. No, as a fangirl I thrive on my addiction to K-pop, it’s what keeps me going precious little can. With “Voodoo Doll” blasting in the background, I scour the internet for pictures and videos of the six adorable members of VIXX, hoping to find that one shot of Hongbin’s dimples or Leo’s smile that will get me through my otherwise dreary day. Because that’s what life as a Kpop Fangirl is all about. We thrive on those brief glimpses of our biases in our Twitter timeline, on teasers of our biases next comeback, on their reality shows hongbin's dimplesand interviews, on their social media accounts and fan-cafés because this is how we connect with them. This is how they become real to us and how we come to love them so, especially for those of us who are forced to live half a world apart from our endless list of biases. And for the record, this love of K-pop isn’t just another “phase” or some “passing craze.” Oh no. It’s become a lifestyle and one that I have no intention of ever letting go.

 

lovely leoWhile being a K-pop fangirl isn’t always easy (especially when no one else in your world understands your obsession) it helps to know that, despite how it may feel at times, you’re actually not alone in your K-pop love. No matter where you are, there’s always someone else out there in the world, just as eager to fangirl spazz over your biases latest YouTube video as you are, and all you have to do is reachRavi out and say hello. So this is my official “Hello” to all of my fellow St☆rlights! It’s been lovely meeting so many of you on Twitter and I hope to meet even more in the future, as we get make time to together and share the love we have for our beloved N, Leo, Ken, Ravi, Hongbin and Hyuk. If you ever find me out there in the social media universe, please don’t hesitate to stop and say hello; I’m always willing to drop whatever it is I’m doing to fangirl spazz over Leo VIXX for a minute or two. 🙂

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