HOLY VANISHING ZOMBIE, BATMAN!

Holy crickets, it’s been a long time since I sat down to write anything here! What the heck!?! You’d think I’d dropped off the face of the planet or something!

Thankfully, I haven’t dropped off of anything. Not yet anyway… Except maybe the deep end, but that’s not really anything new, now is it? ㅋㅋㅋ

Actually, I just popped in for a second because I had the sudden realization that the last time I was here, I didn’t have a lot of good news to share with anyone and honestly, I made life sound pretty freaking awful. Which, let’s be honest, at the time, it was. But things have gotten so much better since then, I felt it was only right to pop in and let you all know that I’m still here, I’m doing infinitely better than I was back in January, and that even though I’m not writing anything in this particular space, I’m actually still very active in the great and glorious world of Hallyu.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that some of you read my work very frequently. You just don’t know it’s me. Because I’m actually a ninja…

Okay, no. I’m not really a ninja, just a writer who’s picked up some freelance gigs over the past six months or so. I’ve covered a few concerts in Chicago, got to interview M.O.N.T (who are completely adorable, and super sweet, and if you haven’t checked them out yet, you totally should), I have a few more concerts I may be covering in the next month or so (so if you see me, be sure to stop and say hi), and on top of all this, I’ve been working as a content writer for a certain video streaming website all you drama lovers out there will know very well. 😉

I have to say, as awful as this year started out, 2019 is proving to be one of the best years I’ve had in a L-O-N-G time. Not only have things on the work front gone surprisingly well, but on the personal front as well. I finally reached a point (thanks to a certain string of events, a handful of amazing friends, and a couple of back-to-back concerts with a band who possesses an uncanny ability to waltz into my life at the very moment I need them most) where I decided I was done letting my health (or lack thereof) control my life. So I took it back. Believe me, it’s a lot easier to write that than it is to actually live it but nonetheless, it’s what I’ve done. Or am attempting to do, slowly and steadily, over the past eight months or so, and I’m happy to report that I’m in a much better place physically, mentally, and emotionally, than I’ve been in years. I’ve found new inspiration to be creative and crafty. (I’ve gone so far as to make myself a set of plushies and even a mini-me, which felt really weird making at the time, but I have to admit, now, I kinda love her.) I planted a garden (and watched with tears in my eyes as the squirrels and skunks ate EVERYTHING I grew 😭). I reconnected with my first love, Japanese rock (Coldrain is kinda killing me right now… Then again, so is One OK Rock… But that’s nothing new!) I’ve started going on food adventures with friends, in which we explore new and delicious restaurants around the Chicagoland area. (And oh man, have we found some delicious places to eat!) I’ve even started running again! (Which is something I honestly never thought I’d be able to do again, but here I am! 10 weeks in and still not dead. Woohoo!)

(Can we say inspiration?)

I will admit that I still have bad days, but don’t we all? I’ve just decided to take a more active role in deciding just how bad those days get. Making a conscious effort to live each day to the fullest is hard (and sometimes exhausting) but a good friend and I vowed (after that aforementioned string of events) that we wouldn’t let there be any more wasted nights in our lives and though I can’t speak for my friend, I can assure you, I’m doing my best to stick to my word. Because as I’ve been made painfully aware, you only get one life so you’d better make the most of it while you still can. So I am. And I hope you are too.

((HUGS))

Hello From the Other Side

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I last sat down to write a blog post. It just doesn’t seem possible and yet, here we are…

When I walked away from my computer last February, I had no idea it would take me a year to come back. My plan was to take a short break while I got some health issues figured out and them come back, stronger (healthier) and better than ever. But that didn’t happen. Instead of finding answers, I now have more questions. Instead of getting better, I got worse. Much worse.

Overdramatic much?

Over the course of this past year I’ve seen 11 different doctors, been to 3 different emergency rooms, taken my first emergency ambulance ride (which is waaaay less fun than what they make it appear in dramas… Go figure!), had more tests done than I can even count and have an entire pharmacy’s worth of medications sitting on top of my refrigerator. My quality of life has dropped significantly as I attempt (rather unsuccessfully) to find ways to deal with the pain that has become a permanent fixture in my life. I often find myself explaining to others, “I’m not really living anymore, I’m just existing” and to be perfectly honest, it sucks! I’ve really struggled with this whole transition from “wonder mom” (which isn’t really me but people seem to think I am anyway) to barely function human being. Despite what some might think, it’s not easy, going from productive member of society to useless pile of whacked out nerves and endless pain. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that I still haven’t been able to find a doctor who can figure out what’s wrong with me. Most of them either look at me and go “Oh… well… that’s odd” or treat me like I’m an attention-seeking, hypochondriacal, wackadoo Hausfrau with too much time on her hands. Sometimes it’s both.

I tried to put off writing a post like this for as long as possible because I wanted to be able to come in at the end with a happy “But now I’m back and better than ever!” But I can’t. I wanted to have all my questions answered. But they’re not. I wanted to have my life back on track. But it isn’t. I wanted to be able to say, to all of you who may be suffering with your own chronic illnesses, “Hang in there! An answer is on the way! You’ve got this!” Which really, is the only thing I can say, not just to others but to myself as well. Some days I believe it, some days I don’t. But I have to keep trying because what’s the alternative?

Like so many others going through life with a chronic illness, I often find myself wondering why life decided to throw me this curve ball but I never come up with an answer. I don’t know why my nervous system has decided to go completely wacky, or why my spine feels like it’s a flaming lightning rod all. the. frickin’. time. I don’t know why I’ve had a migraine-like headache every second of every day for the past 2 years. I don’t know why some days my legs are like “NOPE! You’re not going to walk today!” I don’t know why I can’t talk someone into doing that Mortal Kombat finishing move on me and pull my head off, Sub-Zero-style, taking my spine out with it. (For some reason people seem to think that one might not actually help me feel any better… Weird.)

There are a lot of things I don’t know. But one thing I do know is, I’m not giving up. Not now. Not ever. I’m going to keep fighting. I’m going to keep searching for answers. I’m going to keep doing the absolute best I can; even if that means that some days all I do is drag myself from my bed to the couch and back again. Because, again, what’s the alternative? Giving up isn’t an option so I’m just going to keep trying.

I hope that some day soon, I’ll be able to hop back on here with the happy news that I’ve finally found answers, that I’m finally starting to feel like my old zombie self, that life is finally starting to get back to normal. Believe me, stepping away from writing for this long has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But as Yong Junhyung says in his first album intro, “nothing is forever” and I have to believe that someday “this too shall pass.” Until then, know that I’m still here. I’m still watching as many dramas as I can. I’m still squealing over K-Pop comebacks and life-ending teaser photos and heart-stopping music videos. I’m still trying to make it to as many concerts as I can. I’m still doing everything I can to keep as much of me “me” as I can. Because life doesn’t end just because you have a chronic illness, it just has to slow down every now and then. (A fact I’m still not willing to accept without much grumbling… *grumble grumble grumble*)

TUNE OF THE WEEK: DAY6 “If We Meet Again”

Last week DAY6 dropped a stellar MV on the world as they prepare for their official Japanese debut and quite honestly, I’ve been shaken to my very core. This single has become life and death and everything in between. It’s absolutely everything I ever could have hoped for and so much more! Which is why, even though more than a week has passed since it’s release, I’ve decided to feature “If We Meet Again” as this week’s “Tune.” Continue reading “TUNE OF THE WEEK: DAY6 “If We Meet Again””

TUNE OF THE WEEK: iKON “Love Scenario”

I’m pretty sure this week’s “Tune” comes as a HUGE surprise to… absolutely no one! Yeah… I know. I should probably work on keeping my biases more in check. But really, where’s the fun in that? Besides, with a song as flipping fantastic as “Love Scenario” well… There’s every reason in the world to be freaking out right now. So here. I. Goooooooooooo… Continue reading “TUNE OF THE WEEK: iKON “Love Scenario””

TUNE OF THE WEEK: JBJ “My Flower”

Okay, so I know it’s been about a million years since I last let my inner fangirl out to squeal over a new K-Pop release; mostly because my head is stupid and looking at a computer screen for any amount of time kinda makes me want to rip it off. Despite all that head-ripping off, I feel it’s time to let my long-contained fangirl run free, at least long enough to squeal her little heart out over JBJ’s newest MV release, “My Flower.” Continue reading “TUNE OF THE WEEK: JBJ “My Flower””

For Jonghyun: You Did Well

Three weeks ago, a brilliant star let his light fade from this world and in his absence, I have struggled to find a way to deal with his passing. I know that to some it seems so silly, mourning the loss of someone so wholly unconnected to me, but I’m not writing this for those people. I’m writing this for me and for those out there who may be struggling, as I am, to find some way to say this last goodbye. Continue reading “For Jonghyun: You Did Well”

Ticket Info for BewhY First US Tour “The Blind Star” is Here!

It seems like just yesterday I was squealing over the fact that BewhY was coming to the States for his first U.S. Tour. At the time, I had no idea which cities he’d be visiting or when tickets went on sale, but it didn’t matter. All I needed to know was that BewhY was headed my way and if I was lucky enough, he’d be making a stop in my city. Of course once the initial shock wore off, I started wishing I knew when and where he’d be stopping on this momentous first tour. The good news is, SubKulture Entertainment has recently released all the info we need to start planning for this tour of awesome and I’m here to share it with you! Continue reading “Ticket Info for BewhY First US Tour “The Blind Star” is Here!”

SubKulture Entertainment Releases Venues and Ticket Pricing for 2017 SF9 BE MY FANTASY IN USA

It’s been a little over 2 weeks since SubKulture Entertainment first announced they’d joined hands with FNC to bring U.S. Fantasies a chance to spend an evening with their beloved SF9. Now that the shock of such amazing news has worn off, it’s time to start making plans to be a part of this unforgettable event. To help fans with just that, SubKulture has released both the venue and ticket information for this exciting, 3-stop tour. Woohoo! Continue reading “SubKulture Entertainment Releases Venues and Ticket Pricing for 2017 SF9 BE MY FANTASY IN USA”

Tickets for DAY6 LIVE & MEET IN NORTH AMERICA 2017 on Sale This Saturday!

DAY6 is preparing to embark on their DAY6 LIVE & MEET IN NORTH AMERICA 2017, which means it’s time for you to start preparing for Ticket Sales Day! I know, I know. We don’t like to talk about how stressful it is, buying tickets, but if you start mentally preparing now, maybe it won’t be so bad come Saturday. (Yeah… I know that’s really nothing more than wishful thinking but at least I’m trying to be positive!) Continue reading “Tickets for DAY6 LIVE & MEET IN NORTH AMERICA 2017 on Sale This Saturday!”

SubKulture Entertainment Announces BewhY First US Tour “The Blind Star”

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but last night SubKulture Entertainment announced another tour coming this fall, bringing their grand total up to 4! That’s right, FOUR. As in be still my heart, might have to sell my kidney, take all my money, gonna be broke for the rest of forever but I’m gonna have fun on my way to destitution ’cause BewhY is comin’ to the States! Woot! Woot! Continue reading “SubKulture Entertainment Announces BewhY First US Tour “The Blind Star””

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