BTS is Back, Baby!

There are very few bands in the world capable of dragging this Zombie out into the world again, but BTS is definitely one of them. So here I am, with a few rambling thoughts on a comeback I didn’t realize how badly I needed until it hit me with all the force of a raging typhoon.

It’s been more than a week now, since BTS made their long-awaited comeback with their fifth full-length studio album, Arirang, and though I know the interwebs are already flooded with about a zillion different opinions on the album, I couldn’t help but feel the time has come for me to share my thoughts as well. Not so much because I think what I have to say is all that important, or even relevant, (Because let’s be real here, how many people out there even know this little blog of mine even exists anymore? Or perhaps the real question is, do people even read blogs anymore???) but because I feel like if I don’t at least attempt to let out some of the feelings I’ve been feeling over the past week, my heart may actually explode!

With the release of Arirang, their Netflix concert live-streamed from Seoul, their NYC Spotify performance, their double appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, their appearances on a number of interviews and variety shows, including Epik High’s Epikase and Hot Issue Ji, and the release of their Netflix-exclusive documentary, BTS the Return, BTS made their global comeback in a way that only BTS could. Which means that not only have we been blessed with what is easily one of the best BTS albums ever recorded, but we have SO MUCH CONTENT available to keep our little ARMY hearts happy for a very, very long time. And that’s a good thing because seriously, have you looked at the world lately? Having a reason to smile every time I sit down to doom scroll is such a glorious relief! I’d honestly almost forgotten what it was like to feel anything other than endless rage, day in and day out, so to feel joy again, after so long, is like taking a big breath of fresh air on a warm “Spring Day”, after enduring endless months of gray, frozen winter. (Eh, eh, see what I did there? ㅋㅋㅋ)

It’s having this feeling of “Euphoria” (sorry, couldn’t help myself) back again that’s making it hard for me to understand why anyone might be less-than-thrilled with BTS’s Arirang. Have people so quickly forgotten what it was like, living in a world where you didn’t have Jimin’s smile on standby, there to brighten up your day, anytime you needed it? Or what it was like to listen to RM & Suga discuss their music and to actually feel how much thought and sheer passion they put into their work? Maybe some people aren’t really digging their “new” sound, but seriously, isn’t having BTS back in your life on a daily basis enough?

Of course I have to put “new” in quotation marks because honestly, any day-one ARMY will tell you that Arirang is every bit as much “BTS” as every other album they’ve ever released. Heck, I would argue that it’s even more so because it feels to me that they’re not only embracing who they are as individuals, but also who they are as both Koreans and global icons. There’s a level of maturity to Arirang that albums like O!RUL8,2? could never reach, but that’s because the members of BTS aren’t the same people they were 12 years ago. Just as I’m not the same person I was 12 years ago and, odds are, neither are you. 

The members of BTS have lived lives none of us will ever understand, they have experienced things none of us will ever experience, and they have chosen to step back into this ridiculously insane life as global superstars, because they recognize that the music they make isn’t just music. It’s a message, of hope, of encouragement, of understanding, of solidarity, and most importantly, love. If you take time to really listen to Arirang, to look up the lyrics you don’t understand, to sit with them and the message therein, you begin to understand that there’s so much more to this album than a collection of killer tracks, it’s not just music, it’s a baring of the soul. 

Which, again, is why I have to wonder at so many of the negative comments I’ve seen regarding this album. “It’s not Korean enough.” “It’s not BTS enough.” “It’s too pop-y.” “It’s not pop-y enough.” “It’s got too much English.” This list of complaints goes on and on and on and every time I come across one, my reaction is the same because, seriously!? BTS was gone for four years and the second they come back the only thing some people can do is complain about how it doesn’t meet their limited expectations and dares to challenge their personal understanding of who BTS is? For the love of Jimin’s jams!

Being an American, I can’t speak to the depth of Korean authenticity BTS has imparted in their album on any sort of personal level, because again, I’m not Korean. But that doesn’t mean that information isn’t out there, for anyone willing to look. There are plenty of Korean content creators, who have shared some truly interesting and insightful context for this album and I have thoroughly enjoying hearing their thoughts on everything from the history of “Arirang” (as in the folk song itself) and its inclusion in “Body to Body,” the resonance of the Sacred Bell of Great King Seongdeok which is featured in “No. 29”, the social significance of “Aliens” lyrics, and so much more. There are so many layers of “Koreaness” to this album that to say otherwise just feels so wrong. For anyone interested, I’d recommend taking just a couple of minutes to check out the National Museum of Korea and posts by creators like Jinwoo Park on Instagram. I’m not kidding when I say Park Jin Woo’s posts alone have inspired a whole new level of respect for BTS, their vision for this album and its execution. It’s really quite fabulous!

As for those who choose to be upset over the musical styles BTS chose to showcase with this album, I’m not even sure what to say. Day-one ARMY know that BTS started out as a group of baby thugs who thought hip-hop meant rockin’ big chains, truly tragic hair (sorry, RM), and a big tough-guy attitude. (See 2 COOL 4 SKOOL’s “We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2”, for reference.) The fact that they chose to use the first half of Arirang to remind us that hip-hop, in all its forms, is and always will be the very foundation of the group, is something that makes my day-one heart so freaking happy, I’m almost at a loss for words. Almost.

To those who first discovered BTS during their more pop-centric, colorful, “Dynamite,” “Butter,” “Permission to Dance” days, I can understand why tracks like “Hooligan,” “Aliens,” and “2.0” might throw you off a bit, but these tracks and this style aren’t new. They’re just the group’s latest take on a style that’s been evolving since their debut. I’m sure I’m not the only early-ARMY who remembers the last time BTS took a trip to LA to hone their craft. Surely someone out there remembers what we got as a result? Dark & Wild still ranks as one of my top favorite BTS albums and for good reason. Anytime these guys go to LA to work, they come home with a friggin’ masterpiece! 

As to the amount of English used in Arirang, to quote my children, “Be so for real right now!” Having spent the better part of two decades listening to non-American artists, I can tell you that any international artist who wants to increase their global reach knows that adding English lyrics is an absolute must. HYBE management knows this (they said as much during the documentary) and so English lyrics were used, not to overshadow the Korean, but to ensure that its reach went as far as possible. Because, as should be abundantly clear, singing a song with English lyrics doesn’t automatically negate the culture from which it originates. You think One OK Rock is any less Japanese because they release albums filled with songs in English? Of course not! The very idea is preposterous and so is the notion that BTS is somehow less Korean because they’ve given us songs in English. The use of English is just one more point of proof that BTS understands who they are and what is expected of them. To be a global phenomenon you have to connect to a global audience and like it or not, English is one of the ways an artist can ensure that connection.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’m not here to tell anyone that they’re right or wrong. I’m just here to apply my personal artistic and creative literacy to an album that has been on repeat since its release over a week ago. (Sometimes having a neurospicy brain that likes to hyperfixate isn’t such a bad thing!) For me, Arirang is everything I wanted in a BTS comeback album and so much more. It’s got enough high-energy, hip-hop tracks to make my Dark & Wild-loving heart happy but it’s also got a depth and range that absolutely blows me away. Being a long-time lover of BTS’s slower tracks (“Save Me” and “Lie” still somehow manage to make my heart do the strangest things), loving songs like “Swim” and “NORMAL” has been so easy. “NORMAL” makes me weep everytime it plays, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like having such a sweet reminder to just keep swimming, even when life feels too big and overwhelming, is exactly what the world needs right now. But for me personally, it’s “Like Animals” that has completely stolen my heart. 

It’s no secret that as much as I love K-pop, rock is the music of my soul. So the very first time I heard “Like Animals,” my soul wept. This song is like nothing I ever dreamed BTS would release but it’s everything I needed. The impact of a power ballad should never be underestimated but one that floats somewhere between late-90s grunge and early-2000s emo, with its transitions from clean acoustics into this grungy, distorted, wailing guitar… Oh be still my wildly beating teenage heart! 

To say I love this song would be such an understatement. But it’s not just the melody that has soul weeping, it’s the lyrics as well. As someone who has spent too much of her life being forced to live a box of preconceived ideas of who and what I should be, who has spent the better part of the last decade fighting to tear myself out of that soul-crushing box, and who has only in the last couple of years begun to explore what life can be now that, for the first time in my entire life, I’m free to be who and what I want, I can tell you, this song hits hard and deep. To be invited to “eat this life until your heart is full” after being starved (for years) of all the beauty and goodness this life has to offer, and to be reminded that there are so many others out there, just as free and “untamable” as you are now, who are happy to welcome you into the fold, so to speak… How does one even begin to describe what that feels like? It’s overwhelming in all the best ways, which is probably why I have such a hard time listening to this song without bawling my eyes out. 

To say I love Arirang feels like such a gross understatement. It’s such a fantastic piece of art that brilliantly displays the many facets of BTS and there isn’t a single track I don’t love, for one reason or another. Every time I listen to it, I find something else to love and I couldn’t be more grateful to BTS willingly stepping back into a role they could have just as easily walked away from. After all, how many K-pop groups have enlisted in their military service and then faded quietly into oblivion? To understand the weight they were picking back up by returning as BTS, and make the conscious decision to step back into that life couldn’t have been easy. I have the utmost respect for each and every member of BTS and I am eternally grateful to them for making this comeback. Not only does having them back give me new reasons to smile every day (I had seriously forgotten how much fun their social shenanigans could be), but I’ve got a brand-new album on repeat that is straight-up “FYA!” (Yeah… I went there.) For the first time in a long time, the sun seems to be shining just a little bit brighter and my heart is full, all because BTS is back, baby, and with any luck they’ll be giving ARMY reasons to smile for a long, long time!

HOLY VANISHING ZOMBIE, BATMAN!

Holy crickets, it’s been a long time since I sat down to write anything here! What the heck!?! You’d think I’d dropped off the face of the planet or something!

Thankfully, I haven’t dropped off of anything. Not yet anyway… Except maybe the deep end, but that’s not really anything new, now is it? ㅋㅋㅋ

Actually, I just popped in for a second because I had the sudden realization that the last time I was here, I didn’t have a lot of good news to share with anyone and honestly, I made life sound pretty freaking awful. Which, let’s be honest, at the time, it was. But things have gotten so much better since then, I felt it was only right to pop in and let you all know that I’m still here, I’m doing infinitely better than I was back in January, and that even though I’m not writing anything in this particular space, I’m actually still very active in the great and glorious world of Hallyu.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that some of you read my work very frequently. You just don’t know it’s me. Because I’m actually a ninja…

Okay, no. I’m not really a ninja, just a writer who’s picked up some freelance gigs over the past six months or so. I’ve covered a few concerts in Chicago, got to interview M.O.N.T (who are completely adorable, and super sweet, and if you haven’t checked them out yet, you totally should), I have a few more concerts I may be covering in the next month or so (so if you see me, be sure to stop and say hi), and on top of all this, I’ve been working as a content writer for a certain video streaming website all you drama lovers out there will know very well. 😉

I have to say, as awful as this year started out, 2019 is proving to be one of the best years I’ve had in a L-O-N-G time. Not only have things on the work front gone surprisingly well, but on the personal front as well. I finally reached a point (thanks to a certain string of events, a handful of amazing friends, and a couple of back-to-back concerts with a band who possesses an uncanny ability to waltz into my life at the very moment I need them most) where I decided I was done letting my health (or lack thereof) control my life. So I took it back. Believe me, it’s a lot easier to write that than it is to actually live it but nonetheless, it’s what I’ve done. Or am attempting to do, slowly and steadily, over the past eight months or so, and I’m happy to report that I’m in a much better place physically, mentally, and emotionally, than I’ve been in years. I’ve found new inspiration to be creative and crafty. (I’ve gone so far as to make myself a set of plushies and even a mini-me, which felt really weird making at the time, but I have to admit, now, I kinda love her.) I planted a garden (and watched with tears in my eyes as the squirrels and skunks ate EVERYTHING I grew 😭). I reconnected with my first love, Japanese rock (Coldrain is kinda killing me right now… Then again, so is One OK Rock… But that’s nothing new!) I’ve started going on food adventures with friends, in which we explore new and delicious restaurants around the Chicagoland area. (And oh man, have we found some delicious places to eat!) I’ve even started running again! (Which is something I honestly never thought I’d be able to do again, but here I am! 10 weeks in and still not dead. Woohoo!)

(Can we say inspiration?)

I will admit that I still have bad days, but don’t we all? I’ve just decided to take a more active role in deciding just how bad those days get. Making a conscious effort to live each day to the fullest is hard (and sometimes exhausting) but a good friend and I vowed (after that aforementioned string of events) that we wouldn’t let there be any more wasted nights in our lives and though I can’t speak for my friend, I can assure you, I’m doing my best to stick to my word. Because as I’ve been made painfully aware, you only get one life so you’d better make the most of it while you still can. So I am. And I hope you are too.

((HUGS))

Hello From the Other Side

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I last sat down to write a blog post. It just doesn’t seem possible and yet, here we are…

When I walked away from my computer last February, I had no idea it would take me a year to come back. My plan was to take a short break while I got some health issues figured out and them come back, stronger (healthier) and better than ever. But that didn’t happen. Instead of finding answers, I now have more questions. Instead of getting better, I got worse. Much worse.

Overdramatic much?

Over the course of this past year I’ve seen 11 different doctors, been to 3 different emergency rooms, taken my first emergency ambulance ride (which is waaaay less fun than what they make it appear in dramas… Go figure!), had more tests done than I can even count and have an entire pharmacy’s worth of medications sitting on top of my refrigerator. My quality of life has dropped significantly as I attempt (rather unsuccessfully) to find ways to deal with the pain that has become a permanent fixture in my life. I often find myself explaining to others, “I’m not really living anymore, I’m just existing” and to be perfectly honest, it sucks! I’ve really struggled with this whole transition from “wonder mom” (which isn’t really me but people seem to think I am anyway) to barely function human being. Despite what some might think, it’s not easy, going from productive member of society to useless pile of whacked out nerves and endless pain. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that I still haven’t been able to find a doctor who can figure out what’s wrong with me. Most of them either look at me and go “Oh… well… that’s odd” or treat me like I’m an attention-seeking, hypochondriacal, wackadoo Hausfrau with too much time on her hands. Sometimes it’s both.

I tried to put off writing a post like this for as long as possible because I wanted to be able to come in at the end with a happy “But now I’m back and better than ever!” But I can’t. I wanted to have all my questions answered. But they’re not. I wanted to have my life back on track. But it isn’t. I wanted to be able to say, to all of you who may be suffering with your own chronic illnesses, “Hang in there! An answer is on the way! You’ve got this!” Which really, is the only thing I can say, not just to others but to myself as well. Some days I believe it, some days I don’t. But I have to keep trying because what’s the alternative?

Like so many others going through life with a chronic illness, I often find myself wondering why life decided to throw me this curve ball but I never come up with an answer. I don’t know why my nervous system has decided to go completely wacky, or why my spine feels like it’s a flaming lightning rod all. the. frickin’. time. I don’t know why I’ve had a migraine-like headache every second of every day for the past 2 years. I don’t know why some days my legs are like “NOPE! You’re not going to walk today!” I don’t know why I can’t talk someone into doing that Mortal Kombat finishing move on me and pull my head off, Sub-Zero-style, taking my spine out with it. (For some reason people seem to think that one might not actually help me feel any better… Weird.)

There are a lot of things I don’t know. But one thing I do know is, I’m not giving up. Not now. Not ever. I’m going to keep fighting. I’m going to keep searching for answers. I’m going to keep doing the absolute best I can; even if that means that some days all I do is drag myself from my bed to the couch and back again. Because, again, what’s the alternative? Giving up isn’t an option so I’m just going to keep trying.

I hope that some day soon, I’ll be able to hop back on here with the happy news that I’ve finally found answers, that I’m finally starting to feel like my old zombie self, that life is finally starting to get back to normal. Believe me, stepping away from writing for this long has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But as Yong Junhyung says in his first album intro, “nothing is forever” and I have to believe that someday “this too shall pass.” Until then, know that I’m still here. I’m still watching as many dramas as I can. I’m still squealing over K-Pop comebacks and life-ending teaser photos and heart-stopping music videos. I’m still trying to make it to as many concerts as I can. I’m still doing everything I can to keep as much of me “me” as I can. Because life doesn’t end just because you have a chronic illness, it just has to slow down every now and then. (A fact I’m still not willing to accept without much grumbling… *grumble grumble grumble*)

The Ramblings of A Thankful Zombie

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With tomorrow being Thanksgiving here in the States, I thought it only fitting to take a moment to pause and reflect upon all that I’m thankful for because in all honesty, I have quite a bit for which I can be thankful. Continue reading “The Ramblings of A Thankful Zombie”

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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I know I’m a little late in writing this but I still wanted to take a second to wish you all the best in this new year. May your year be filled with joy, health, happiness, prosperity, K-Pop, dramas, and more biases than you could ever hope to swoon over! Thanks for squeeing with me over the past year. I love you all! ♥♥♥

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Christmas

With today being Christmas Eve, I thought it only fitting to put aside my usual weekly posts for the week and take a moment to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Continue reading “HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!”

When You’re Sick On A Friday Night

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Okay, so really when you’re sick on a Friday night, curling up to marathon a drama sounds like a great idea until you fall asleep half-way through an episode and wake up 10 episodes later. It’s always frustrating when that happens which is why I put off watching new dramas when I’m sick. Instead of risking missing something super important I go back to dramas I know by heart so when I randomly fall asleep, I can wake up however many episodes later and pick right back up as if I’d never been asleep at all. Continue reading “When You’re Sick On A Friday Night”

HALLYU ZOMBIE DRAMA REVIEW: We Got Married Global Edition, Season 2, Episodes 12-13

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Hallyu Tanya and I are back to give our take on We Got Married: Global Edition, Season 2, Episodes 12-13. Feel free to join us in our love of all the adorableness that is We Got Married!

 

You can catch up on all of our previous reviews of We Got Married: Global Edition (Season 2) here:

Episodes 1-2

Episodes 3-4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episodes 8-9

Episodes 10-11

Tanya’s Say: A Letter of Reflection

Hello dear ZombieMamma readers,

I’m hijacking this website once again simply because I can… and because it needs to be done since I get to see everything that goes into all the work that ZombieMamma does (not only for this site, but also for other sites that she writes for). Also, simply for the fact that I also do all of this myself for my own site, as well as DramaFever and others, so I know that she’s going out of her mind while trying to keep as quiet as possible. Continue reading “Tanya’s Say: A Letter of Reflection”

MUSINGS OF A K-POP FANGIRL: Beware The Bias-Wreckers!

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As a K-Pop fangirl, having a list of biases a mile long is nothing new… Well, at least for me it isn’t. Being a serious multi-fan, I’m always adding new idols to my bias list and I’m cool with that. I spend hours scouring the internet for new bands and comebacks, just looking to add another song to my ever-growing K-Pop playlist but every once in a while, as I’m bopping my way along a new (or even not so new) band will sneak up out of nowhere and… BAM! Suddenly my bias list has a six new members that I never saw coming. Continue reading “MUSINGS OF A K-POP FANGIRL: Beware The Bias-Wreckers!”